Backwoods Neighbor

"John" lived across the river from his backwoods neighbor, "Clarence," and the two feuded constantly. They never missed a chance to throw rocks and yell insults over the water. One day the Army Corps of Engineers came to build a bridge.

John was elated and told his wife he was finally going to get his hands on Clarence. When the bridge was finished, John headed off, but returned a few minutes later. "I never realized how big that guy is," John said sheepishly to his wife. "I headed for the bridge, then saw the sign: 'Clarence - 8 feet, 4 inches.'