Part I
Everybody who has a dog calls it "Rover" or "Boy"; I called mine "Sex". Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the city hall to renew his license, I told the clerk I wanted to have a license for Sex. He said "I'd like to have one too." Then I said "But this is a dog". He said he didn't care want she looked like. Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was 9 years old." He said I must have been quite a kid.

Then when I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the hotel clerk I wanted a room for my wife and me and a special room for Sex. He said every room in the hotel was for sex. I said "You don't understand, Sex keeps me awake at nights." He said "Me too."


Part II
One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before before the competition began the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was hanging around. I told him that I planned to have Sex in the contest. He told me I should have sold tickets of my own. "But you don't understand," I said, "I hope to have sex on TV." He called me a show-off.

When my wife and me separated, we went to court to fight over the custody rights of the dog. I said "Your honor, I had Sex before we were married." The judge said "me too." Then I told him that after I married Sex left me. The judge said "Me too."

Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking for him around town. A cop came over and asked me, "What are you doing in this dark alley at 4 in the morning?" I said "I'm looking for sex." My case comes up on Friday.